PSYCHOLOGY OF SEX: BODY IMAGE

We all have a mental image about how we look. This mental picture is part of our body image, and it has a great influence on our sexuality and our sex lives. Our feelings about our bodies form the other part of body image.

A good body image is a gift that our families and friends help give us. It can allow us to feel secure about our sexuality and our sex lives, whether we’re big or small, fat or thin, muscular or soft, light or dark. A poor body image is a handicap that we may receive from families and friends who ridicule or humiliate us and give us negative feelings about our sex organs and masturbation. Poor body image can make us feel insecure about our sexuality and our sex lives, no matter how beautiful we are.

Sexual inhibitions can make us feel bad about our bodies, and poor body image can magnify our sexual inhibitions. They form a vicious circle. Each intensifies the other. Just as our families and friends contribute to our sense of body image with their approval or disapproval, so does the society in which we live. Television and other media play a crucial role in reflecting and establishing social norms about body image. The standards it sets for women and men are impossible for most of us to meet.

Popular magazines show “perfect” women and men and include articles on how to achieve a “perfect” body. Advertisers barrage us with millions of images of what it is to be beautiful and sexy. A healthy, fit, and trim body is a wonderful thing, but the media message is that beauty does not include people with disabilities, unwanted facial hair, acne, soft bellies, or small breasts. In fact, there are thousands of beautiful, sexy, and beloved women and men in the world with disabilities, unwanted facial hair, acne, soft bellies, and small breasts.

We are likely to forget that fact, though, when we compare ourselves to the images in film, on television, and in print. Advertisers benefit from the insecurities we feel about our bodies as we compare ourselves to the standards they set. The more we become insecure about our image, the more likely we are to buy a product to cure our “problem.” And the more likely we are to become sexually inhibited.

Although there is no single cause, sexual inhibition and poor body image can contribute to serious eating disorders—anorexia, bulimia, and binge-eating disorder. These disorders are attempts some people make to take control of their lives, especially their sexuality. Although much more common in women, eating disorders are increasing among young men. Women with anorexia go without eating to achieve what they believe is socially approved thinness. Unfortunately, they come to believe they can never be thin enough and starve themselves. One out of five dies of heart failure or other complications associated with malnutrition. Anorexic women develop many other serious life-threatening conditions. They may also lose their menstrual periods, fertility, breast tissue, vaginal lubrication, and sexual desire.

In order to achieve thinness, bulimic women and men binge on large amounts of food and then purge themselves by fasting for long periods, using laxatives, or inducing themselves to vomit.

Binge-eating is compulsive overeating. It is done to relieve stress and anxiety, including sexual anxiety. Becoming obese may heighten sexual inhibitions and provide an excuse to avoid sexual contact.

Eating disorders can be treated with psychotherapy and professional medical guidance. Even after an eating disorder is put under control, however, a person may struggle with the consequences for a lifetime.

While most of us will not develop a serious eating disorder, worrying about our bodies is very common and can cause sexual inhibition and conflict. Are we pretty enough for the partner we desire? Are we handsome enough? Are we the right size and shape? Are we tall enough? Are we too tall? Are we the right color? Are our genitals attractive? We can make ourselves very unhappy with these concerns. They can also inhibit our sexual pleasure if they linger in our minds during sexual activity.

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